I have not posted for some time, but I do have a reason. I try to keep the activities of my life organized by their priorities. My days have been so full of late, that writing in my blog has fallen to the bottom of the list. Already I have had an eventful semester, and it’s heavily tipped to the side of the positive. My little man and I have started to get used to our morning and afternoon bus commutes. He is a tiny expert on the mass transit system, and has started to have favorite areas to sit on each type of bus. My husband and I have started to find ways to stream line our morning routine to lessen the drama of getting two small children out the door with us. It’s not perfect, but we are slowly getting better. I love my son’s Montessori school, and I believe that finding it has possibly used up my available luck for the remainder of the year. He is thriving under their direction, and learning to forge relationships on his own. One happening that can be seen as neither good nor bad, is the resignation of my scheduled hours at the job I have held for the last year. Working in the kitchen at the nursing home has had so many positive influences on my life, but the time I have gained back with my family is invaluable. The main reason for having to step back from work was money. I brought very little money home, and it cost us more than I made by keeping us a few dollars on the wrong side of an income bracket. Complicated, messy, and well, annoying.
I find myself overly stressed this week only because of the date. I am in my fourth week of school. In my two previous semesters, something has gone terribly wrong for me in this week, so I feel like I have been holding my breath since last Friday. I do what I can to stay on top of my work, but paranoia creeps in. I just have to focus on controlling the controllables, and forge ahead.
I find myself constantly worried that I am playing a pity game with myself, and therefore I am working extra hard to keep a positive attitude when ever I can. I worry that I complain too much, or don’t appreciate all that I have enough. We lead a pretty good life, even if it’s currently supplemented by federal loans, and totally absent of many “wants”. What is important is that most of our “needs” are actually met. We have a home, nutrition, each other, and lots of love. Most importantly, there is a light at the end of the tunnel; we are working on a future for all of us. Really, we have an awful lot after all.